From Assistant Principal Pastoral Care
Face Painting
Part of my head is preparing for our Yr 12 Retreat next week in Jindabyne (which will have concluded as this is published). I am very privileged to have a guest spot which involves students completing some guided face painting.
The origins of this session are lost in the mists of time, but I think a few of us in previous schools were part of Marist designed retreats and the origins may lie here.
The basic premise is affirmation.
It goes something along the lines of students work in pairs where they know each other very well. They each paint several symbols on their partner’s face highlighting that person’s best qualities. The one who paints narrates what they are doing and why. The one who is being painted must remain silent. Then, obviously, they swap.
Students are discouraged from the superficial – you don’t paint a football because they like football. You might, however, paint a football because you explain to your friend that they are extraordinary in fostering teamwork and empowering others or demonstrate resilience and courage. The latter is the affirmation.
An aspect always at issue is the silence required as you receive your affirmation. In my experience, it is one of the hardest things for the kids to do. It seems to be the Australian way to self-deprecate (we're anti big heads, tall poppies etc etc). Perhaps it might also have something to do with (and for me this is really the point of the exercise) kids particularly, maybe most of us, define ourselves by our limitations or the negative. Kids’ actions (mostly, most of the time) stem from insecurities. Then throw in lack of impulse control. Maybe it is too big a responsibility to live up to the potential that others can see. I think this is pretty famous, and if it isn’t, it should be:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
It can be a powerful exercise to be affirmed by someone you respect and trust. Most often we don’t verbalise it with each other, just assume that it is understood.
Sometimes it’s not and sometimes it needs reinforcement. (I can date the two occasions that my daughter told me that she loved me.)
It’s all connected – positive psych, Shine Your Light, you are made in God’s image. Anyone who works with kids, every day, is always looking for the positive from which the student can build, especially amid difficulties. Probably the single thing that a teacher does in pastoral care, more than anything else, is develop self-esteem.
Sometimes we deal with a lack of humility and entitlement, but insecurities far, far more. Someone smart might say that a lack of humility is a manifestation of insecurity anyway.
Many of us have stories about that one person, way back when, who said that one thing that we’ve never forgotten, that we go back to in the hard times…
I wish for all the kids to have that gem to always carry with them. Hopefully a few.
I am not so foolish as to think that Retreat facepainting is the magic bullet, but it might be for one or it might open a door for another…
That’s enough.
