Assistant Principal Pastoral Care

Bullying

Bullying is terrible.  

Writing about bullying is terrible. 

Every school has a zero bullying policy (like they do a zero drug and alcohol policy or zero discrimination policy…) Often it is insidious. Like drugs and alcohol, it is not often practiced in front of staff. 

We are always working on it. But having said that, what don’t we see? A fair bit probably (or according to some). And it is a ridiculous premise to infer that in a school bullying doesn’t happen.   

For all the programs, time and money spent combating bullying, for me it comes down to this – it has to be an everyday, whole school culture thing. “Shining your Light’ doesn’t include treating anyone poorly for any reason and is at the heart of our faith and what we stand for. Like the air we breathe. And it’s helpful when society backs us up. I appreciate all the well-intentioned “days” highlighting issues, they’re important, but the danger is “well that’s over for this year and we’ve ticked the box”  -  bullying warrants more. 

When something terrible happens, I promise you that there are always stories on both sides; claims and counter claims. It’s not simple, but the damage is all too clear ( there is no denying that!). I don’t get many conversations from Year 9 kids beginning with, “I admit my bullying, I accept the consequences, I will make restitution and it won’t happen again.” Actually, the usual complication is that the he or she accused of the bullying, rightfully or wrongly, positions themselves as the “real” victim. 

Two useful, accessible sites, that you might consider having a rummage through, are below and I acknowledge that what follows is a cut and paste from one or both as a starter. 

Bully Zero 

https://www.bullyzero.org.au › event › national-bullying... 

Bullying. No way! 

https://bullyingnoway.gov.au › preventing-bullying 

A Definition 

Bullying is repeated ongoing negative behaviour directed at an individual or a group with the intention to hurt or harm. Bullying is NEVER OK! It is hurtful and can impact someone for a long time. There are different types of bullying.   

Below are some of the more common forms: 

Verbal: Name calling or put downs, threats, teasing, ridiculing and yelling.  

Physical: Punching, tripping, kicking or stealing and/or destroying someone else’s property.  

Social: Leaving people out, gossiping, or talking about someone behind their back. This can also include lying, spreading rumours, mimicking, making fun of, or playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate. 

Cyber: Hurting someone using technology, via email, chat groups, text messages, social media, websites and online games. “  Bully Zero 

What to Do… 

You have a right to feel safe and be safe. If you are being bullied here are some ideas about what you can do.  

• Talk to someone about it. Find a trusted friend, teacher or carer who will listen to how you feel, be supportive, and perhaps even help you work out what to do. 
• Talk to your friends - they can help you tell a teacher or your parents or just to feel better. 
• Talk to your parents - tell them all about what's been happening. 
• Talk to your teacher or another staff member - tell them all about what’s been happening. If you don't want to do this in public, make an excuse to see the teacher about something else, for example your homework.  
• If you can't talk to someone face-to-face go online at Kids Helpline http://www.kidshelp.com.au/ or call a Kids Helpline counsellor on 1800 55 1800. Try a few of the strategies that have worked for others. Only try these strategies if you are not in any immediate danger of being physically hurt and you feel confident you can do them 
• Ignore the bullying - turn your back and walk away.  
• Act unimpressed or pretend you don't care what they say or do to you. You could say 'okay, whatever' and walk away.  
• Use strong, assertive statements, starting with the word ‘I’; tell the other person ‘I want you to stop that’ in a strong confident voice. Practice this with your friends.  
• Use ‘fogging’ which means making a joking or funny comment that makes the other person think you don't care about what they say.  
• Ask your friends to speak up for you. And remember to do the same for them! Try to stay positive. Focus on all the things that you do well, the people who like you and care about you. 
• Write down your thoughts and feelings about the bullying to help you think clearly about what you can do. Hang around with your friends and be with people who help you feel good about yourself. Good friends respect, encourage and support you. They care for your wellbeing and are fun to be around. You'll make new friends by respecting, encouraging and supporting othersBullying. No Way
  As I have said, bullying is an everyday, try to put an end to it job with all hands on deck.